Here's something nobody tells you about the elevator pitch: when you stand up to do yours, hardly anyone is listening.
It's not personal. The people who haven't spoken yet are busy rehearsing what they're going to say. The people who already have are thinking about tea, school pick-up, and the birthday present they still haven't bought. And after the tenth pitch in a row, even the most attentive person starts to drift.
That's a big part of why I set up Women Inspired Network to work differently. Everything we do is built around one strapline:
Kindness leads to connection. Connection leads to collaboration. And that’s where the magic happens.
The good news is you don't need to come to a WIN event to network this way. You can bring a little kindness into any room you walk into. Here's how.
1. Listen first, pitch never
Imagine someone knocking on your front door, link in hand, asking you to buy something. You don't know them, they don't know you, and they have no idea whether you even need what they're selling. Your defences go straight up and the door closes.
That's exactly how it feels when someone opens a networking conversation with a sales pitch.
Instead, go in genuinely curious. Ask questions that go beyond "what do you do?":
- Why did you start your business?
- What have you got coming up?
- Where do you want to take it this year?
- Who are you hoping to connect with?
Remember, the person in front of you might not be your customer, but they might know 50 people who are. I'm not a travel agent's ideal client right now (two small kids on a plane? No thank you), but I have a huge audience of mums who love to travel. Pitch at me and I'll switch off. Get to know me and I could send you all sorts of people.
Try this: at your next event, don't mention what you sell until someone asks. Notice how differently the conversation goes.
2. Do your homework before you go
Here's a reality check. A typical networking event lasts about two hours. Take out the mingling, the speaker and the coffee queue, and you've really got about an hour of proper networking time. You don't want to spend it on "What do you do? Great. Next."
At WIN, every event has an online attendee directory so you can see who's coming before you arrive. If you've spotted that there's a travel expert on the list and you've been thinking about a Disney trip, you can walk straight up and start a real conversation.
Try this: if the event you're going to shares an attendee list, look through it the night before and pick two or three people you'd love to meet. If it doesn't, ask the organiser. It's also a brilliant way to calm pre-event nerves, because you'll know a few names before you walk in.
3. Follow up within 24 hours, with no agenda
Following someone after an event isn't a cold follow. They've met you, they recognise your name and your face. It's simply the polite, natural thing to do.
But timing matters. Within 24 hours you're still fresh in their mind. Leave it a week and life has taken over.
And please, don't follow up with "Lovely to meet you, here's my product link." Try something like:
"It was so lovely to meet you yesterday. I really enjoyed hearing about where you're taking your business and I'd love to hear more. Fancy grabbing a coffee or a quick Zoom sometime?"
Simple, warm and no pressure.
Try this: before you leave the car park, connect with everyone you spoke to on Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn. Use the attendee list to reach out to anyone you didn't get time to chat to.
4. Aim for three great connections, not 20 business cards
There's a type of event where it's all about getting your card into as many hands as possible. But how many of those cards do you actually remember a week later? Which face goes with which name?
Three really good connections from one event will take you much further than a stack of business cards you can't place.
This matters even more if you're an introvert. If you're nervous, the pressure to sell yourself to a whole room is exhausting. Giving yourself permission to just have a few good conversations takes the pressure off, and it actually works better.
Try this: set yourself a target of three meaningful conversations per event. Once you've had them, anything else is a bonus.
5. Introduce people to each other
One of the kindest things you can do at a networking event costs you nothing at all: connect two people who should know each other.
If the person you're talking to would get on brilliantly with a friend who needs exactly what they offer, introduce them. No agenda, no keeping score. That person might never introduce you to anyone, and that's fine, because someone else will. When everyone in the room plays it this way, the good energy always comes back around.
Try this: after each event, ask yourself, "Who do I know who should meet someone I met today?" Then make one introduction.
6. Give it six months (and remember collaboration isn't just money)
A lot of people come to networking once, don't make a sale, and decide it doesn't work. But networking is built on repetition. Different people come along each month, and it's seeing the same faces again and again that turns small talk into trust.
I've watched it happen so many times. One woman was so nervous she nearly didn't come in. She realised how kind everyone was, ended up chatting about her life and her family more than her business, and went on to join the Success Circle. Within a couple of months she'd already made her money back, and then some, just by turning up consistently.
Gemma, who now leads our Woodbridge and Felixstowe events, was in two minds about whether to carry on with her business when she first came along. She's been every month since and is now fully booked as a VA, with clients from the WIN network. And Jade from Toddle About Suffolk, who I'd met a few times at our Felixstowe events, is now the overall sponsor of Mumma Connections, which is one of my other businesses.
But collaboration doesn't just mean money. It's advice from someone who has been there and done it, a recommendation, someone cheering you on, someone to giggle with. Business can be a lonely place, and finding your people matters just as much as finding your customers.
Try this: commit to one networking group for six months before you judge whether it's working and also make the effort to connect and follow up.
The magic is in the kindness
When people leave our events, they're buzzing. Messaging each other, following each other, planning workshops together. None of that comes from a pitch. It comes from people being genuinely kind and genuinely interested in each other.
So whether you join us at WIN or head to a completely different event, sprinkle in a little kindness. You might be surprised where it leads.
Kindness leads to connection. Connection leads to collaboration. And collaboration is where the magic happens. 💛
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